Ask any couple who’s honest and have been together a while and chances are good they’ll tell you their sex life has hit the occasional slump. Whether it’s a temporary glitch or a more serious problem, understanding why you’re not having the sex you want is the first step in remedying the situation.

Reason 1: Blame it on the Bed

More and more people are taking smartphone, laptops and tablets into bed as they curl up at the end of the day. Plenty of research shows this can throw off your circadian rhythm, making it difficult to get quality sleep. If that isn’t reason enough for you to ditch the devices, consider the fact that it also affects your sex life. Sliding between the sheets and turning to each other gives you a time to connect without distraction but putting in some time on Facebook or checking email not only makes it harder to fall asleep, it makes it harder to get in the mood.

Reason 2: The Meds Aren’t Helping

Even if you’re not on any medication that directly involves your sex life, your meds could still be causing problems in the bedroom. Lots of medications, including those for depression and high blood pressure, can have negative side effects related to sex. Check with your doctor or pharmacist about potential sexual side effects then work with your medical team to find options that address the issues you have without creating new ones in the bedroom.

Reason 3: Body Issues

It’s the catch phrase that’s everywhere these days – Body Issues. Pretty much everyone has gone through a time when they don’t like some part of their body but hating the way you look over a long period of time wears away at your self-esteem and your sexual desire. Solve the problem by addressing the underlying issue once and for all. As you do, you’ll begin to be more accepting of your body which will improve your sexual self-confidence and boost your libido.

Reason 4: Hormonal Changes

Both men and women experience hormonal changes as they grow older. These changes can lead to diminished performance and even a lowered interest in sex overall. Not ready to dial back the level of sexual activity quite yet? Get in touch with your doctor or a niche clinic that specialises in checking and restoring hormone levels for men and women.

Reason 5: You’re Depressed

Depression, anxiety and stress are perhaps three of the most powerful forces in the universe. They have been linked to everything from an increased chance for obesity to triggering the onset of heart problems and diabetes. They’re also often a part of our busy lives. If you’re feeling stressed out, over-anxious or down in the dumps take some simple DIY approaches to help such as getting outside more to increase Vitamin D production, engaging in physical exercise to promote the release of endorphins and indulging in favourite past times. If that doesn’t help, get to a doctor to find out what you can do to manage the issues better – your sex life will thank you for it.

Reason 6: You’re Just Not Getting Along

Relationship problems are an obvious issue when sex isn’t happening, but that doesn’t mean both people in a couple realize it. If you’ve been sniping and bickering over nothing for months, it’s no wonder you’re not burning up the sheets at night. If there are issues hanging over your head as a couple, take the plunge and clear the air once and for all. Healthy communication – even through an argument – strengthens the bond between a couple making it easier for them to connect intimately. And – BONUS – make-up sex is THE BEST.

Reason 7: No One is Making the First Move

This one is simple to fix – if you’re not having sex because you’re waiting for your partner to make the first move, step on the gas! Even if your partner is usually the one to instigate sex, that doesn’t mean it always has to be that way. Throw tradition out the window and seduce your partner like it’s your third date.