Once you reach a certain age, you begin to realize that a good sex partner can be surprisingly difficult to find. For an activity designed to be pleasurable there are some people who seem hell bent on making it as needlessly complicated as possible. We’ve found the following 6 people to be the absolute worst when it come to potential sex partners and have even included handy red flags for you to watch for in order to save you the struggle – and trouble – of dealing with these people.
The Replay Addict
Reliving your favourite moments of sex can be a pretty hot way to spark new ideas, improve your technique and engage in a bit of mental foreplay while you recover enough for another romp between the sheets. But then there are people who obsess over every detail, wanting to review every change in position, every angle of each thrust, every kiss, nibble and lick. Discussing it at that level of detail is more likely to leave you limp than to get your engine going again. Watch out for those who are obsessed with the minute details of dinner or who discuss plot points from old episodes of Underdog a little too seriously.
Little Miss Lazy
Men can also fall into this category but it’s something more likely to happen with women. Some blame cultural stereotypes but no one knows for sure – some women just freeze up when it comes to sex. They’re happy to moan a bit and encourage you but they simply don’t contribute to the festivities. These people won’t get on top and make no effort to make positions easier or improve their own technique. How to spot them? It’s a bit difficult to be honest, but keep a watch for people who are slow to get their own drinks and generally expect things to be done for them without exerting any effort.
The Closet Freak
Let’s not beat around the bush – things can get a little crazy during sex. We lose our inhibitions and let go of reservations so getting a bit freaky is easier and, in most cases, a good thing. But some people go to the extreme and switch from a fairly normal person to someone who wants to cram every conceivable fetish into every sexual encounter they have. These closet freaks rarely discuss what they want to do ahead of time and people have no inkling of what lies ahead, but once the fun begins, out comes the closet freak. Keep an eye out of handcuffs stuffed into their glove box or a reluctance to even discuss sex outside of the bedroom – it’s always the quiet ones you need to watch out for!
The Show Off
Having a great technique is absolutely something to be proud of, but some people simply take it too far. They want you to be so impressed with what they can do it’s like they’re quizzing you before, during and after the encounter. The pleasure they derive isn’t about the pleasure they’re giving, but how impressed you are – or they think you are – with their physical abilities. These people are pretty easy to spot since they’re self-absorbed and constantly need to be the centre of attention.
Mister Who Needs a Shower?
Women can also fall into this category but, let’s be honest, it’s something that affects men much more often. Maybe it’s studies that show sweat has pheromones which attract women or maybe it’s just plain old laziness but there are lots of guys who think a weekly shower is more than enough – even in the hottest weather. Luckily, these people are the easiest of all to spot since you can usually smell them a mile away. If they’re a bit ripe when you first meet, don’t assume it will get any better once they get undressed. Chances are it’ll actually be worse.
