Penises are surprisingly well represented in history. Long after some men have turned to dust and ash, their most vial orgasm remains firmly tethered to the material world. Obsessions about the genitals of famous men dates back to our most primal beginnings when pieces of an enemy were thought to retain some of that person’s essence. We may act like we’ve moved past such primitive ideas but the history says otherwise.
Rasputin – Poisoned, Burned, Hanged and Shot … But His Dick’s Still OK
Perhaps the most famous example of a penis outliving the man to whom it was attached is the strange case of Rasputin. Rasputin was a strange character. In the early 1900s he was a local mystic who attracted the attentions of powerful men and women in Russia. He became an influential adviser to Czar Nicholas II and enjoyed immense popularity with aristocrats, politicians and plenty of sexual partners.
Rasputin was an infamous lover, said to drive both men and women wild. One woman reported that the orgasm she had while having sex with Rasputin was so intense that it caused her to faint. Felix Yusopov, Rasputin’s longtime homosexual lover, said the man was so amazing in bed because his penis was misshapen and boasted a large wart which was reportedly “well situated”.
Eventually, Rasputin became the target of rich and powerful people and several attempts were made on his life. He was poisoned several times and was reportedly shot. Eventually, he would be found drowned in the river noticeably mutilated. Rumour had it a maid had originally found his body and removed the penis for reasons best left unsaid.
Today, the Russian Museum of Erotica proudly displays the mystic’s member for tourist from all over the world. Oddly enough, today many people don’t know much about Rasputin or the influence he had in history – only that his penis is floating in formaldehyde in a St. Petersburg museum.
Napoleon – Little Man, Big History
In 1977, an American urologist made an auction purchase that made headlines. John J. Lattimer, an expert in his field who would probably like to be known for something else, has become known as the man who bought Napoleon’s penis.
The journey of Napoleon’s little general began back in 1821 when Napoleon died. The story goes that several of the emperor’s organs, including his penis, were taken out by a doctor attending the funeral. Over time the destiny of his other organs have been largely forgotten about but interest in his penis never waned.
The penis has a somewhat murky history with reports of it being in the possession of a London bookseller and an Italian priest at various points in time. It was exhibited at the Museum of French Arts in New York in 1927 where a Time magazine writer reported it wasn’t terribly impressive. In the Time article, Napoleon’s penis was compared to “a maltreated strip of buckskin shoelace” while a different writer called it a “shriveled eel.”
Then, in the late 1970s it was sold in an auction house to John J. Lattimer, a well-respected American urologist. According to all reports it remains in the possession of his family and his daughter has been interviewed about the strange family heirloom.
What is it about holding onto the body parts of the dead? Many anthropologists say it’s a throwback to our most primal days and shows how we are still animals at heart. Others claim it’s nothing more than wanting to have a connection to the past, no matter how tenuous or macabre. Whatever the reason, strange relics such as these will no doubt continue to be a part of our world history.
