How important is your partner’s sexual history? Does it make a difference if you’re looking for a fling or if you have your sights set on establishing a long-term relationship?
What about when we compare men versus women? After all, the traditional wisdom states that people are more tolerant of men who have had a lot of partners, but increasingly critical when women have multiple previous partners? Of course, these ideas are older and, according to some, pretty antiquated. So does that mean public perceptions and attitudes are really changing?
When two people get together and develop a serious relationship, conversation eventually turns to each person’s sexual history. This is an important topic not only because of the related health issues, but also because we all want to know how much experience our partner has had. After all, if you’re going to deal with someone with only a little experience will you need to commit to teaching them everything? While some people may not mind teaching someone the moves, others want someone who can just hit the ground running so to speak.
Generally speaking, we all know our partner will have had at least some experience, but how much is too much? And is a person who has never had sex before really a better catch than someone who has been around the block a few times?
Recently a team of researches set out to determine how much the number of previous sexual partner influences how much a person wants to be with someone. The study was recently published in the Journal of Sex Research and the results have been an eye opener for many people.
The study asked participants to rate how much they would want to be with someone based, in part, on their number of previous partners. The numbers for previous partners ranged from zero (making the person a virgin) to those with previous partners of 60 or more. These were all based on hypothetical relationships and the researchers looked at answers based on people who wanted something short term as well as those who were evaluating these potential partners with the idea of beginning a long-term relationship.
Initially, the willingness of people to get involved in these hypothetical relationships rose with the number of partners. This showed there is definitely more of an interest in people with at least some level of experience. The higher that number became, though, the less inclined people were to get involved. It’s worth noting, however, that people who themselves had a higher number of sexual partners were more tolerant of those who also had higher numbers.
It’s also noteworthy that when it came to evaluating people for a long-term relationship, there was almost no difference between what men and women were willing to accept when it came to previous sex partners. This casts questions about the idea that promiscuity is tolerated better by men than women.
So what does all this mean?
While this is only one of a small amount of studies to look at this kind of question, it does imply that people are becoming more open-minded when it comes to their partner’s sexual history. As we become more open about talking about sex and exploring our own sexuality, this open-minded approach is clearly becoming increasingly common.
For single people, this means they can be honest about their history and open up to their partners about a topic that is important for any couple that wants to build a life together. It also means they can openly discuss their past experiences and encourage their partner to do the same. For many couples, it will be the green light they need to truly open up and live honestly. In the end, that means a future where couples can begin their relationship honestly and we all know, honest communication is thy to long-term success when it comes to love.
